Thread.

I started off by making two blogs.
Thought I'd write poems at one place and paras at the other but maybe it's time to put the ideas in one single thread.

So from now, i'll be updating my other blog which is -
Dusky bio

:)

and blogging is fun, so that's something that's never gonna stop :)

Peace Out.
\/

The Day That Brought Smiles :)

It was supposed to be Amazing, out of this world, the one that would have made me utter a W.o.W ..
but no, my suit seemed just okay.
The first suit ii got stitched seemed just okay. That was first put off.

I came home, called Nitish up to see if he was free so ii could go out with him after school but to my expected fate, he wasn't. yet another put off. And all my plans and excitement was slowly creeping away.

Then came THE day.

Teacher's Day. 

Celebrated in our school, DPS Dwarka, on Friday since weekends stay off.
I woke up at 5:45 am, got ready and to my surprise, ii looked pretty :)

The much awaited day was finally here.

After reaching school, we had crazy fun hugging, clicking pics, roaming around, admiring some people and making fun of others. But everyone looked different and great.
I wasn't too excited, not like everyone else was. I was rather too nonchalant about the day.

      

But as the day raveled out, it turned out to be the

BEST TEACHER's DAY I COULD EVER WISH FOR.

I had an astounding fun with classmates.

Though all my plans post school seemed to go in trash, few classmates planned to go out. Feeling content to go with the flow, ii went on.

I changed at Shruti's place and we all went to Rajouri.
The West Gate mall, much changed since the last time ii visited, proved to be a mall I would always remember.

AND THEN 
THE RIPEST THING HAPPENED.

While going around, ii bumped into my childhood friends, friends from Gitarattan Jindal Public School, friends with whom ii studied from nursery to IVth.

The day which started off with a bad kick, finally ended with a smile on my face and in my heart ♥.

As all wise men say, someone must have also said that going with the flow is the best thing for a person to do in order to be happy. As my plans got crushed, my willingness to accept what came at me fruitfully made me appreciate that man, whosoever he was. God bless him.

And God bless all those who made my day special and one that will always be REMEMBERED for despite of me not liking the suit, ii found it altogether great, despite of my wish to go out with Nitish wasn't fulfilled, at the end ii was more than happy he wasn't available otherwise ii had not met my friends. And the wonderful part, it feels AWESOME to meet friends after 7 years, to see them, to hug them and more than that, to get to able to know how they feel being around you.

This day and all the smiles it got is fully dedicated to all my teachers who polished me and made me a person ii am proud of.

My mother and father were definitely my first teachers.
Then Mamta Aunt whose cretch served as my second home in my infanthood,
Meeta mam was my first teacher in school and she being the one under whose guidance ii started and ended my GRJPS journey,
Sumita mam who in Vishwa Bharati supported me so much for 5 years and the very fact that she was proud of me, scornfulness aroused in me due to ups and downs reduced and ii gained faith in myself,
Manju mam was yet another one who understood me and supported me like a teacher, mother and a friend,
Deepti mam, my art teacher who never forced me to attend classes and helped me bunk so ii could play basketball. She helped me like a friend and a teacher,
Monica mam with whim my first conversation was a huge clash of ego and attitude. But the fight resulted in us being close friends,
Prabhakar Sir who taught me basketball, made fun of me, supported me, comforted me, motivated me to be proud of whatever ii had and cried the day our batch left VBPS,
Pooja Batra mam who understood my state of mind as a 11th and 12th grader, looked upon my father's nature and helped me hold up thruogh bad times in studies.

These are the teachers who made my 18 years definitely the BEST.
Names would be added definitely in future for ii will never stop learning and teachers won't end coming in my life. But this particular Teacher's Day was fully dedicated to THEM.

I am PROUD to have them as my teachers.

:)

.Life.

game to play
challenge to face
complication to ease

No doubt life is difficult. Struggles, hurdles, loses, wounds, heartbreaks, backstabbing are parts of life. They are like component of life without which, life is undefinable.


There's a saying "Whatever happens, happens for a reason." I personally agree with this statement. An optimistic person can always find something or the other positive thing happened even during bad times. It does sound difficult, to be positive all the time. Well, yea it is difficult but not impossible. Human tendency is to give up on one point when he decides that he can't take anymore. A little more patience, a little more faith can help him overcome the inferiority complex people have in them that in spite after so many trials, if the outcomes are not positive, they can't go any further. I know being optimistic is not easy, its not at all but just to make world a better place to live, we should try. There's no harm in trying.

Experience is what we get when we don't get what we wanted.

From my experiences, I know that if we try a little, we can find good things in bad times. They might be under weighed by negatives but as the time progresses, we will notice that it won't matter anymore considering that searching for small small positive reasons to live through that bad situation, isn't after all that fruitless.
It all sound bookish and crap. I know it does, but experience never lies. I am experienced. Many bad times have prevailed on me. They might not be that big as yours or anyone out there. But being a 16 year old, I know, for me, they were bad. But I was able to manage and find something or the other to be happy to drift forward with my life, to carry it forward.


Life is full of ups and downs. I have to see so much. I might fall many and many times, even badly but i am sure that whatever happens, I will stand again and try. Again and again, I'll try until I end my life. All I know is that while my heart beats, I am not giving up - on my aim, my dreamz, my wishes. Nothing. I am giving up on nothing except fear, fear of denial, betrayal, falling and hurting.
I have been inspired by many people around me who are optimistic, confident and very determined. I hope my words inspire someone out there and help them love their life and make it beautiful.


Life is the best gift a person can ask for. Having desires that we know will not be fulfilled, expecting from others, pride and over confidence brings a man down. Love people around but don't expect anything in return. Trust people, but don't have blind faith on anyone. Trusting oneself is the best way to succeed. Having faith in oneself and his/her acts and not following any wrong path will always make a man's life beautiful.
Life is too small to hate. So live happily and love everyone. 
Cherish every moment and spread smiles. 

:)

Trampoline

Mind a trampoline

The membrane of our mind, thin and stretchable.
Every single moment, a new thought dwells. A new seed is sown which grows into a tree with it's roots reaching till eternity, every blood cell and binding it tightly.
Some seeds though, are not healthy. The roots they form, are the one's cannot be killed by white blood cells as well. They take things so down and drowning in every part of the brain. Leave us confused and ever more paranoid.

:-?

The biggest dilemma .. I am going through currently .. is to decide whether I want a certain thing in my life or not. For a long time, I yearned for things to get back the way they were (or maybe it wasn't so) .. and now, when I actually have a chance in my hand, I wanna crush it. Its actually hard to believe that the thing you cried for days and nights, killed yourself by waiting, is actually bugging so much now that you have what you wanted (or you supposed you did).

WEIRD ..
*Sigh


It's venomous when past becomes present. But there's no escape to it. No way what so ever.
All I know is, I am clueless as to what I want and what I want to get rid of.
It would have been so much better, only if I had the ability to say "NO" for an answer.

Taking the blow

It's funny how a long retentive, blossomed and full fledged friendship ceases so effortlessly.

Can you ever expect to have given your precious time, smiles, fights, tears to someone who would walk out of your life not because something happened between you two but because he is constantly baited by people , who happened to be your friends too, regarding the company he keeps. People come and they go but is it easy to accept someone's departure for the same blame for which that person stood by you many a times ..?

He was constanly warned and adviced to stay away from you. But he decided to stay bcause he saw the real "you". Out of all, he knew that you are different but not worth being hated. He took your side everytime a finger was raised on you. Since it's been many a times that he has stood up, you overlooked those few times when he kept mum while others sprouted the words of hatred. It went too well and maybe this is where the problem began. Maybe it went just too well, more than it should have been. Because the day finally came when that person decided to tell you that he no longer need you in life and that was because he was supposed to choose between you and his partner. And it's obvious who his choice would be. Somehow it did not hurt you much because you knew deep down in your heart that this day would come. You know you don't deserve to be loved and whosoever for once loves you will ultimately abandon you happily - because it has happened SEVERAL times. And o'course in your utter foolishness you forgot about this and the question which you always overlooked, now flashes back.

"So there's definitely something wrong with me that EVERYONE hates me. What is the reason..?"

You were a protagnist for being hated, even among friends, esp by friends. This question was pondered upon innumerable times but his presence always made you overlook it because you knew that if out of these many, he stood for you, there has to be something, if not everything, right in what you had done.

But now that your support is lost, for the same reason, wouldn't it be wiser to accept the fact that you are meant to be hated..? Rather than trying to find reasons to prove something opposite to the existing truth, it's smarter to accept and learn to live with it.

It's been high time now. You have had many punches right in face, but your huge self esteem overleaped your vision to see what they really were for. They were not to tell you that those people are not good enough to love you but to tell you that its YOU who doesnt deserve to be loved. And since you figure it now, wouldn't it be nice if you start mending your ways from this very moment..?

You will continue to get comments that this is not true, you are an amazing person and only to be loved and whosoever hates you, is a jerk. But remember, the person who just walked out on you said the same things once.

You figured so many things and now you are smart enough to know what is there for you to learn from this punch.

Hope you learn to accept the truth and find peace in it.

God Bless

Effort In Vain

An Epic

I am reading Fountainhead by Ayn Rand currently. It's salient. I mean the way it unfolds the thought behind every action and perception, it amuses me. The best line, "A man's ego is the fountainhead of human progress". But anyhow, am not writing this blog to talk about the book.

The thing that fascinated me the most is..umm I don't know really. It's kind of weird. I have so many feelings at the an instant. Life makes one laugh and cry over it at the same time. Some instances make me want to cry like a baby but then they even make me feel like laugh on it - the whole situation, myself, my fate. And all the pain and rejection makes me smile. Involuntary, I smile in contempt, not realising I'm smiling at my own agony. And this is how life unfolds.

I have always been a person of wisdom - in theories- because I believe no human can be wise enough. Atleast not to lead his life in happiness. Though struggle, I believe, is also necessary to define life. But struggle against the compulsion of a single desire is also a compulsion. We desire. And that's the biggest mistake we commit. Kill desires and you'd kill sorrow. Desire is a burden we could well do without. But since that can't be happening, it's wiser to accept the pain and gradually learn to deal with it and best to find satisfaction in it.Its good to suffer. We should be grateful that God has made us suffer. Everything bad comes from the mind because mind asks too many questions. The questions that only question our belief in Him and us and people around who's presence affect us. And that is the worst thing to admit. To admit that someone's presence do affect us - not to minimul level but to the extent where we let our minds upset over the fact that the person we give priviledge to affect us to this extent is unaware and the worst would happen if he acknowledges it. But we humans are emotional fools, we do exactly what leads us to the path of self destruction - some choose a way by blending with mast and changing their way of existence though some choose to acquire repulsive behavior and end up being unhappy and crushed. Well, technically both live unhappily but there is some level of satisfaction when we pick the former path. I choose the latter.

I, unintentionally, have always been repulsive, especially to thoughts that seem useless to me - more precisely the thoughts that appeals me, because they are one's that would actually make me weak. I don't tend to let ideas seep into my brain until I find them reasonable. I am mostly cold and inhuman. Not in literal sense, but that is how I am. And that's only the way I know myself. Am hell of a listener. And that is exactly the way I choose to destruct myself. I have always felt that people around, who choose to confide in me, do so because they want pair of ears lended to them. I do agree that I have tried to make the conversation two way but everytime I tried, I felt my words vanish in thin air. And that made me even more repulsive to the idea that I should open up with people. I do try a lot to blend in, but it's just useless. Useless to the core. I waste my time, mind and energy trying to be like others. Trying to behave in as humanly manner as possible. It just doesn't help. And now, I have stopped bothering. Only self realization helped. Only if I wouldn't have decided to accept it and the way I am, I don't think I would have been lively as I am today. It feels very very awkward to even let these sort of thoughts get into mind, because I am too young to even consider what all kind of people are there out in the world.

But as I state, books and paper are my best buddies. Reading I feel makes me wise and writing makes me channel my thoughts into a concrete form. I love to type up. And my good speed helps because then I type whatsoever comes to mind and later when I read that, I feel funny. It seems idiotic to have these thoughts at this age. But alas, I wish I could do anything about the way I fell or think.

Effort goes in vain.

RaNdoM .. O.o

hmm...

Well........... mmmm ..................

You know.... ?? !! I don't =/ ...

Oh wait..maybe I do ...

Buh am not sure thou .... (-.-)

What the fuck is wrong with meh ...? O.o am so bloody insanely blank :|

Jeez ...

My head hurts ... it's suddenly so heavy ...and painful ...and idk ..!!

this boredom is sooooo random :0

Wtf .. what's so wrong ...??

whoa .. something is so out of the way not right .. I ain't usually this boring ..

or bored ..

Grrr I don't know ... Why the fuck am I even writing this crap ..?

God knows.. Arghhhhh

Screw, I am so blown up .. I probably need a therapy or maybe some counselling ..

maybe that would help .. hmm ..just maybe ..

Though it's kinda unbelievable .. no counselling can get me right ..

I am so ruined and ..eRr I dunno .. not even in mood to think of adjectives ..!!

Am I in any sort of mood ..? :-?

I dunno .. I guess am not

*sigh*